Toe fetish...NOT...

This may seem inconsequential but one of my absolute pet peeves is chipped nail polish and unkempt nails in both men and women. I do not and will not understand how one can leave their house with their nails looking all tore up! The greats created clear nail polish, and or nail polish remover so that we don’t have to subject others to unsightly nails. Y’all PLEASE take care of your nails…pretty, well-kept nails tell a lot about a person!

I send this to my friends each year, with the approach of spring …I’m kinda late this year, what with springing forward two weeks early. I don't know who wrote it but ABSOLUTELY appreciate this pledge. Here goes….

The Open Toe Shoe Pledge

Alright Ladies, it's that time of the year again. Just a friendly reminder!! Please raise your big toes and repeat after me: (The Open Toed Shoe Pledge)...

As a member of the Cute Girl Sisterhood, I pledge to follow the Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free.

I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow. I will shave the hairs off my big toe.I won't wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.

If a strap breaks, I won't duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr. Scholl's if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids' sizes.

This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

If I have been privy to the magic that is Foot Soup, I will share that knowledge and experience with the non-initiated.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes are as long as my fingers and no sandal makes creepy feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops that I will ensure that they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and I will swear NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $10 and worth EVERY penny).

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show signs of wear...nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals...

Don't keep this to yourself - pass it on to other sisters.

Re-education of me...

I used to think that I could get along with men by understanding the intrinsic nature of their beings. I even thought that I had a very profound understanding of the male being because I have oh so many male friends and have some mind blowing discovery discussion into the make-up of ‘the male’, this, in addition to the reading that I’ve immersed self in. And I’m proud of self to some extent in that I do understand the basic nature of men. I’m intrigued by the male body. How the male body functions and reacts. How and why a man can be aroused (at the snap of a finger for some) and what that process entails. I think if my creator was to grant me one wish, it’d be to let me be a man for a day. That day would be filled with exploring especially the sexual encounters a man has...from arousal to immersion to explosion...what is elicited and or fulfilled. I’d also love to know what and how the male mind works....especially the problem solving aspect.

I’ve come to realize over the years that I don’t need to understand and may never truly understand ‘the male’ being. Let me clarify. In my opinion, to understand something one would have to be immersed in that thing/object and be a part of it. Does that make sense?... to be well versed in something, you have to be that very thing!

My stubborn, almost “feminazi” nature has for ages refuted the notion that one has to compromise to gain harmony. I was previously of the notion that women oft times compromise over and beyond their call of duty. I’ve pondered compromise over my life and now understand its substance and general make-up. It takes little time to live in harmony with all parties equally satisfied. I’ve learnt that when you give a little and I give a little and in your vision of my giving you decide to give more and I see your willingness to give therefore I give more…the cycle is Psychedelic.

We are inherently and deliberately created different. It would therefore behoove us to come to an understanding (used rather loosely) and some level of acceptance of our differences and consequently have a sense of respect of one another for us to start to live in a semblance of balance and harmony!

Each one reach one...

The other day I read a suicide note that not only tugged at my being, but that also heightened my curiosity and need to want to reach out. The note highlighted some of the major causes of the unworthiness of the life and hence the need to stop existence. I was angry because I did not understand why such seemingly mundane reasons would be due cause to cease existing. We all deal with basic stressors on a daily and we somehow have to find reason and cause to want to keep at life no matter what. Because of this, I’ve oft times been of the belief that those who choose to take their lives in this manner are not only giving up but are rather selfish and cowards…I stand corrected.

My thoughts lead me to a time in college when a dear friend attempted to end her life. We were up all night, in fear, trying to restore her existence and equip her with reasons to carry on albeit the state of depression that she had immersed into. We did not of course want to add undue stress and thus did not call authorities or her family. We ‘handled’ the situation by keeping a deadly secret. Our thoughts did not drift to the plenty ‘what if’ scenarios that would stem and fester from the situation.

After years of studying the human mind, I know now that there are some unhealthy secrets and ways that we support each other. My mind goes back to my friend and how I saw warning signs and even though my mind knew better I took it upon myself to be her comforter and healer and counselor and oh so much more. I ‘m now better equipped/educated to handle dire situation and thus was inspired to write this.

I’m convinced that we are each our brothers’ keepers, yes in the literal sense, and thus should attempt at removing each other from toxic situations. I think that as family and friends we should be aware of suicidal tendencies and symptoms and that further, we should encourage our loved ones to seek professional assistance at the onset of thoughts and or behavior that is threatening to our lives and that of others. It is important that any one in a stressful and or depressed situation acknowledge their feelings…adverse feelings are real, common and treatable, and this should encourage one not to feel alone or like the world is against them or even that they need to end life.

Simple steps to improving and being aware of ones ‘sanity’ would be:
*Seek professional assistance
*Be in touch with your feelings, esp. negative ones…what makes you tick
*Be aware of signs, symptoms, mood changes in yourself and loved ones
*Be embracing and understanding of self and others so that you don’t seclude, pigeon hole or develop pessimistic views of self or others
*Share feelings/emotions with a confidant, someone, anyone about what’s going on with you not
*Develop positive relaxation techniques e.g. yoga, meditation/prayer, warm baths, which will not be an added stressor, so that when life seemingly gets in over your head you have something healthy to fall back on

There are several websites that you can visit to read more about psychological aspects going on with you and or your loved ones…
www.save.org
www.suicidepreventioncenter.org
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
www.yellowribbon.org
mentalhealth.samhsa.gov/suicideprevention

I try to do all that is within me as a sister, friend, lover, confidant, colleague to reach out to family and friends. I encourage all not to let days go by without reaching out to a family member or friend…call your friends and family to check-in, encourage, share…whatever it takes to let them know that they are loved and cared for. I know my career will lead me to read many more suicide notes or offer counseling to those affected and or inflicted by suicide, at the end of the day I’d however like to say that I did all that was within me to help prevent a suicide. Maybe this is a tough responsibility to endow on any individual, but I've challenged myself to, and going with my 'brothers keeper' take on life the least I can do is look out for those I love and care for or who seek my counsel.

I would be remise in not underscoring the fact that it is important to seek professional advice from a trained individual i.e. counselor, psychologist, spiritual/religious leader. Suicidal thoughts are grim thoughts that can be turned around…this is not the end all!!!