All I asked was why and this is what I got...

Because you make me feel special
Because you treat me with respect
Because you deserve someone like me in your life
Because you are there for me, no questions asked
Because it is the least I can do since you make me HAPPY
Because my heart skips a beat whenever I see or think about you
Because love hath no boundaries
Because you are my friend and I yours
Because I really truly like you a whole lot
Because I look out for my friends

I went away feeling I was the best thing that EVER happened to this Mr. Man but that feeling only lasted through the night. I’ve thought of numerous situations in which all this doesn’t feel right or make sense or suffers from my blockage. A year later I'm still where my soul has been stuck for ages, it almost feels natural - I don't believe in being in love, you see. I however believe that love is a CONSCIOUS choice, decision if you please. I think love can be restricting to the soul especially if it is one sided. I don't understand why an individual can claim to love another and yet hurt them. I refuse to encourage one-sided love for my heart tells me that it should be a two-way street and I further believe in being honest about not loving a person like you once did and appropriately COMMUNICATING this to them…use as much deliberate zeal as you did when the pursuit initiated. I'm still seeking the concept of love and every time I attempt to embrace it I get a slap to my very being. I'm learning to not be so cynical about the concept of love and all that it potentially could award my being. I’m stepping out of my weariness over this love thing and I’ve actively started dating, not with the anticipation of falling head over heels but just simply for enjoyment of company and discovery of another…who knows…
SWITCH…
I tend to surround myself with male friends. They seem to be extremely intriguing to me and in my opinion make better, longer lasting friendships than females do…maybe it’s me and my projections. The weird thing that I’m trying to comprehend is why is it that when others see you in the company of the opposite gender they automatically think that there’s more to it…you must be dating or shagging or some’.
SWITCH BACK…
I’m now convinced that I need to have a verbal, face to face session with the person that consciously or unconsciously helped seal the love does not exist concept in my being. I’m going to garner the courage to call him and set a mtg, ok that sounds official but far from that. I need to express to this individual that I have totally forgiven him, don’t get me wrong I do take responsibility for my role in the demise of our so called relationship. Whether he feels he needs forgiveness or not is of little concern to me. I don’t even care if he doesn’t acknowledge that he wronged me, I’m simply attempting to free my soul of him once and for all…I cant continue living my life being chased by the ghosts that he created.