Internship...

Yeah imagine that 706 hours later...I AM DONE...I’m so utterly excited and at the same time feel a great sense of loss...I’ve enjoyed every moment at my internship...it’s been a wild ride man...I didn’t think I’d ever accomplish 700 let alone 706 hours but by golly I did it! This experience has taken my mind and soul to extremes (even body)...I’ve learned how to be a counselor by simply listening...initially I was oh so terrified of giving "the wrong advice" that in the first couple of months I avoided speaking one on one with clients...I was comfortable in sitting in on group sessions and let the knowledge flow in from the facilitators and surpringsingly enough (at the time for me) from the clients...they have some heart wrenching stories to tell and this became my unfolding...the realization that this is not another yukky life-time movie that I was sitting through...they experienced what they did in real time...real life man...and still they continue to rise...it always got to my very soul when children were involved...their mothers have put them through so much already and at their tender ages most of them have been through so much more than the average Joe would ever fathom...the cycle is vicious though...most if not all the clients had been sexually abused, molested at a very impressionable age...their use ensued as an attempt to 'block-out' the traumatic experience...the most intriguing, well one of the most intriguing lessons I learned was that an addicts’ life stops/stagnates at the age of first use, meaning if I stared using at 15 my process - thoughts, actions would be that of a 15 yr old...during their recovery clients would come into the home with this exuding from their beings...one client for instance was almost 60 but her reasoning was that of a teenager...I’m not claiming their lack of profound wisdom esp. to matters of life, but the stubbornness of say 'I want it now and by golly I will manipulate my way till I get what I want'...I always thought this was an American trait but it is at a deeper scale with the clients...adamant about the inconsequential aspects of life that have little or nothing to do with their recovery...in my time spent with the ladies I learnt to further humble myself and to constantly have a peaceful spirit/soul/demeanor...the wealth of knowledge that I acquired from this experience is etched in my being and I’m prayerful that it stays in said state for life...it’s uncunning how I can recall each client in my mind and pull the appropriate story to the appropriate face...though their experiences were tear jerkers, I never shed a tear nor did I diminish my own experiences...I oft tried not to take their 'baggage' home with me because rightfully I had my own life to live albeit with its ups and downs, mine all the same...this has been a blessing and saying goodbye almost jerked me up…