Finally...

This has been a long time coming...i'm finally stepping out of my 'box' and placing my expressions in public...i express myself best in written word (hmmm is that me placing me in a box again) and find deep comfort in it...i have so many thots running wild in my head or in my journal and i oft times think that i was on the written verbosity line way too long while HE was dishing out the act of speech...lately i've been experiencing changes or anticipating changes in people, places and things that i've become oh so accustomed to and i've thus become apt to writing more than usual...i've committed myself to a journey of not only self but especially of spiritual actualization...enjoy this journey with me if you please!!!

on a different note...
found out about an hour ago that I’ve had death in the family and I feel like someone has literally taken a crap on my very existence...I’m at a loss for words…I can’t do this emotional thing man...and for some insane reason I’d subconsciously told myself that the next time I received a call from home with the news of someone dear to me passing on I’d have an emotional break down…crazy is as crazy does – guess I tested the gods...I’m not allowing myself to grieve because the motions involved are way too painful and consuming for me...I do understand that I have to at some point but I’m scared that if and when I do it'll be a point of no return for me...yes you guessed right I’m Virgo...my personality reeks of the overly analytical/overly expressive/beat yourself to the grave kinda mentality...right about now a bottle of port sounds enticing!