Sometimes I wonder...
I have this thing going with my McDreamy. Its weird I tell ya. We spend hours on end talking and laughing and watching movies/tellie and playing scrabble and sitting in silence and hmmm dare I not say what else. I’ve always been intrigued and even challenged by his intelligence. He makes my brain think and I love to be in that state of mind coz that means my brain is evolving and absorbing and sharing and all this is extremely sexy and appealing to me. I don’t want to define this relationship. I want us to flow with it on a day by day basis. I figure if we put definitions then with that comes heartache and expectations and broken promises. Is this me running away from making a commitment? I hear a resounding, YES. I don’t want to feel like I ‘belong’ (used rather loosely) to anyone. I want to be free to do as I please when I please and yet be exclusively involved with him. I don’t care to be sold into dreams that will never culminate to anything…call me a pessimist but I’m rather enjoying things as they are. In as much as everything seems so mutual I don’t want to lie to my soul that we are more than what we are. I’m scared of being in a relationship with anyone that I feel this strongly about because…I’m uninhibited. I open up and tell him all sorts of stuff (and likewise) without care or concern of sentiment being shared with another or being misinterpreted. I’m simply at my peace and happy as can be. Is it wrong for me to tell him I don’t want a definition…what does that mean in man language???
posted by Quintessence @ 12:11 PM
9 Comments:
You sound like you have committment phobia girl!! It seems as though you and your McDreamy are on the same page and that is awesome!! Honesty is the best policy I suppose, but did he indicate that he wanted to define teh relationship, or is it just you trying to avoid that from happening?
Intelligence is very sexy! I'm with you on the idea of letting things flow. A lot of issues can come up when people insist on defining a relationship. But likely your sweetie will recognize that you care deeply for him and that's the most important thing. I'm also curious what it would mean to a man.
Hey hon- Me thinks, If you mention the no-definition thing, before you both actually have the ' Where is this going?' conversation, then you're no longer just going with the flow..because what you're saying is, I'd only like to take this so far...Just enjoy yourself, take it easy...I'm happy you're happy..
@Princess...that I do, I don't understand what the fear is man.
Yes, we were talking and he brought up the fact that we need to define what it is that we are doing and I blatantly said I didnt care for a or rather didn't want to rush into making a definition and was ok with things as they are...now I'm wondering if my honesty was TMI
@GND...if and when you get a hold of that manual kindly pass it on
@Medusa...ta for stopping by doll.
He brought up the conversation and I think I prematurely shut it down and asked for an undefined relationship as long as there's mutual respect...and now as I think about it I'm almost kicking myself
Hello ladies. I too find intelligence very sexy. No definition sounds good according to me, means you are secure and trust him. But that is only my opinion. If you explained it to McDreamy in the same manner you wrote it, you should be all right. I take it to mean that a definition might stifle the great thing that you have together. Makes sense, or did i just add to the conundrum?
@aegeus...ta for the input and yes I did explain it to him like I wrote...I truly appreciate your perspective on this
you don't seem comfortable to leave well enough alone... you want to give it a name and a meaning? it has a name and a meaning, don't you think? maybe you feel this way because you're not confortable with the definition that i has right now! could you be wanting more? or less? or just different? it all sounds so good right now, and he's comfortable with it too...i would imagine that you wouldn't want to fix what ain't broke..
I have several responses not like any is true or right. First of all you sound like me in some respect, but i do think you have somewhat of a committment phobia, so many of us have it and i hate the fact that we have been so scared in life that we shy off any other form of commitments...hopefully we can heal from that and move on.
Second i'm all for going with the flow but here is where i get confused coz its been done to me, when we were just going with the flow, ofcourse i knew how i felt about dude and he said so but because we hadn't said that we are dating (if you can say such a thing) i found out that he was seeing other people and liked this other people. I'm not sure how far he went and i'm not sure i care to know but in as much as i HATE LABELS coz its just puts you in a box and i'm claustrophobic, i realized by not in some way stating that we were exclusive he was free to canoodle (lol) ok maybe not all that but he was in a position to meet other people. When i found out i was upset but i realized we didn't say we were only seeing each other ( i just ASSumed). So that's my take on going with the flow...
Go with the flow, by all means infact those are the best coz you have more fun i think. And if you continue to feel strongly about mcdreamy what's wrong with defining it? We don't feel strongly about everyone we meet and we don't always have a great connection with people we meet, so when you do find it in a person, embrace it instead of running from it, immerse yourself in it like it was s choclate fountain with strawberries on the top..
Ok that's like a blog on its own.
nyaaaaaaaaaaaamie chocolate covered strawberries it is...i hear you doll on all you've said and I do know that for me the committment phobia comes into play I however know that I'm well in interacting with this on a clande level and not going further with it as long as we both have and exercise due respect...too wordy but I hope you get my gist!
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