My McDreamy

I’ve had a crush on Mr. Man for oh so long…I’m talking years here. How can I shake this off man or do I even want to…I think and I’ve told him as much that he is my ‘The One.’ Don’t ask me what that means…I’ve heard people esp. females (tee hee – I hate that term) use that plenty so now I’m exercising my right to use it. Yes I undeniably believe that he is the one and told him this on a drunken escapade much to his surprise. We had a fabulous fling summers past…too delicious to erase from my memory though it ended on a not so good note. Aaargh I should’ve left it to fantasy…nah life’s too short they say. Years later we are friends again, talking and laughing without skipping a beat to recover from our year of not seeing of speaking to each other. Before our fling Mr. Man and I had been friends for years and he was my go-to-male-mind….why do men do this…why do men say this…what makes men act the way they do. I also went to him with boyfriend issues and he was my ‘GET OUT’ voice when my recent past ex n I were having what seemed like decomposing issues. Did I give him too much information? Why didn’t he ever stop me from sharing what I did…the details oh the details.
DAMN the dares and teasing and flirtations have started. I try ever so hard not to engage but my armor is weak man. I’m not timid in expressing my feelings to him. I don’t care if he sees me when I’m at my worst. I know beyond reason that it’s a mutually evolving relationship, undefined and yet understood. Maybe I need to pull my head out of my hind-side…but he challenges my being. Our conversations range from politics to religion to literature to languages to sports to dreams and goals and aspirations and family and life and oh so much more…he loves my cooking and as much as I hate to cook I put this aside to indulge him, yes even entice him.
Friday I got flowers and was whisked off to a cabin in the mountain. Is this my imagination working tricks on me? Unexpected knock on my door, all who know me know that I’m studying for this major exam so who is this who dares to interrupt my intellect. Early Halloween – trick or treat. My face lit up in a smile and my knees almost gave way. I don’t recall what I said but I know that I was off into a blissful world. Ok pinch thyself Q, didn’t work…this is really happening. I oh so love nature man, its simplicity is majestic to me and this Mr. Man knows how to get to my very core. A little over two hours we arrive at the most romantic environment. Did I mention the gorgeous scenery on our drive…its fall you see, and with fall are the different shades of orange and red and yellow and brown and green. A wooden cabin that doesn’t look like much, to the naked eye on the outside surrounded by dried leaves and chirping birds. I think I’ve been snookered…pinch self…nope we’re actually here...yipeeeee. The cabin is breathtaking and what transpires in it for the one and half day is mind-blowing…oh yeah I finally get ‘my breakfast.’ All week long I’ve been craving pancakes and eggs (three scrambled well with cheese) and bacon and sausage and strawberries with whipped creame and a cup of hot chocolate to top it all. If I’d known that all I had to do was send a txt, I would’ve done so as soon as the crave hit. All this in bed and without effort on my part…priceless. Is this still my fantasy I wonder? Maybe I’ll ask someone if I have a ‘glow.’ LOL I’ve never gotten the glow concept…I think its all imagination.
Why do I feel that it is ok to let my guard down with him…esp. because I know he has the potential to hurt me. Why do I feel freedom when we flirt and when I express myself and when he looks my way and when he touches me oh my. My friends say I look like a zozo and smile stupidly when he walks in a room, they don’t know about the flowing juices and the increased heart beat and the get a grip pep talk. Why oh why do I feel like I should stand on the highest mountain and let all the creatures on this earth know what emotions he elicits out of me…why is this normal or isn’t it!