Why oh Why...
Today’s gloomy weather goes with the way my soul feels about people, no beasts who molest and abuse others and especially those who prey on children. What is the point, someone please tell me. How demented can you be to think that you can derive pleasure from an individual who is mute to your indulgence. Yesterday a friend of mine shared with me that she observed her ONE year old child grinding, yes the sexual motion. No don’t laugh its not cute. I was instantly disgusted and felt faint. I was so absolutely incensed because the implications are gutting to me. He could have 1)one been molested 2)watched someone having sex possibly the babysitter or probably on telli 3) maybe he’s just a rambunctious toddler exploring his manhood…this would make Freuds’ theory not that off the radar. Whatever the case, it doesn’t sit well in my being. These are his formative years, his personality is forming and character developing and for anyone not to be aware of their impact on his impressionable nature is absolutely ridiculous to me.
I get overly passionate about molestation and I do understand now more than ever that it’s a control thing on the part of the molester. I however fail to understand why a being would want to have control of another and in my little world my brain has refused to compute that this said control would amount to the betterment of the controlled. Never mind that fear has been instilled.
In my career, I refuse to work with molesters because they go against all my beliefs. It tugs at my heart when I sit and listen to recounts of rape and molestation. With my first client at my internship our first session entailed gory details of how she had endured through gang rape and domestic violence and she had three boys and the older one (7y.o) was molested by his dad and he in turn was inappropriately touching his younger brothers. This truly got to me and I had to go to my happy place and focus so that I could still appear composed and continue to actively listen and walk her through the process – whatever that means. I don’t think the memory every completely ebbs away for those who’ve been molested/abused. You can be ok one day and the next it hits you and you have no idea what triggered it or why you cant rid of the experience…and I guess here come the control factor.
The news is plagued with reports of abuse/molestation and my first reaction is often lets get the idiot and castrate him/her. I must admit that my anger and militant take is negative and largely due to personal experience…I’m trying to reverse that and have been motivated to start a counseling service that will cater to victims of these heinous crimes. Interesting is that research shows that a high percentage of molesters have at one point in their lives been molested and because of displaced feelings of anger and shame and hurt they in turn molesters. This cycle needs to break man!
I’m ranting so I’m out…
posted by Quintessence @ 7:33 AM
9 Comments:
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
I feel you totally on that. Just last week Friday a girl got raped at the high school near where I live, and it so happens this was the second time it was happening. By the same guy. Who she described as a tall skinny black guy (that's a relief, cause tall I ain't, putting me out of suspect zone). I say that cause this is in a predominantly white neighbourhood, and the fear is there might be more police stopping black men in the short term. The thing that caught my attention was that the first time it happened, she did not report it out of shame, feeling that she might have done something to provoke the attack. It was only after the second time that she spoke up. Even though I don't know her, I still felt horrified for her. These things are just incomprehensable as you state it. Kudos to you on your work helping others!
This is an issue that just enrages me to no end. Incest and rape just make me mad. Like you mentioned it is a vicious cycle that needs to be broken. Back in the day when I thought I might become a Criminal Attorney, the one thing I made clear was that I would never defend a rape case under any circumstance because the judicial system still has a long way to go on this issue.
Sexual abuse in any form is a great travesty and anyone who's guilty of it should be subjected to the most painful punishment as long as they're alive. After all, the victims are haunted by the emotional wounds for life.
Sexual abuse in any form is a great travesty and anyone who's guilty of it should be subjected to the most painful punishment as long as they're alive. After all, the victims are haunted by the emotional wounds for life.
Where to begin...this has always been an area of extreme interest for me in looking at both the survivor (i don't call them victims that just doesn't feel right to me) and the attacker. We all know rape or any form of molestation is anothers need for power and control over those who cannot at the moment defend themselves(which ofcourse makes no sense). It def. is a learned behavior which can be unlearned (in my opinion) because no one was born this way. So many factors influence human behavior and it is up to us to understand whether this is intrinsic or extrinsic, i guess my area of study makes me explore all aspects of human behavior. I believe that survivors of abuse need time to heal, it def. will not go away in a day or a month or a year, and moments of relapse are bound to happen, but one cannot allow themselves to be held captive by someone elses act. Take back the control they took from you, and live. (speaking from a person who's been there i refuse to give the perps the upper hand to how i live my life) just my thots on this..
I get mad mad mad everytime I hear of yet another rape case. Unfortunately for us, here in Kenya the laws are not nearly as stringent as they should be to make sure that rape, incest or molestation of any kind goes unpunished. In fact, more are the cases that go unreported than the ones that are brought to book.
Almost every week, in the news, in the papers, or at the hospitals we hear from, or see kids who have been physically abused. It is heart wrenching and SICKening. Our female MP's and lobbyists are working day and night to get the bills against this enacted, yet their male counterparts have the sheer audacity to even suggest that we somehow bring it on ourselves. And yet these are husbands and fathers. And they call themselves our leaders. Total BullCRAP this.
As I said, it makes me MAD. Extremely so.
Jadekitten: i could not agree with you more, that's like my hot spot right there esp when this "men" dare to suggest that women bring this upon themselves...what kind of lowlife idiot would say a child would bring it upon themselves..It's truly beyond me. When i come back home, that's on my to do list, i have to figure out a way to do something from where i am...the madness has to stop...
@egm...i'm glad you didnt fit the discription man...it's AMAZING how many cases go unreported for the very reasons you stated
@Princess...it's important, i think, that one identifies what they are willing to work with or not and for one to clearly define those boundaries and represent self as such
@GND...totally agree with your sentiment
@jadekitten...i know for me my anger and passion inspire me to want to make a difference...i honestly wonder what a kenyan mans reaction would be to statistics and probability that his wife, daughter, mother is part of said statistics...would he leisurely brush it off and continue with the nonsensical dismissive statements
@freespirit...maaaaaaaaaan, i cant agree with you more on all you've said...in a perfect world i'd agree with take back you life and move on sentiment...easier said than done esp when it's eruption sideblinds you...also, i deliberately used the term victim because to call one a 'survivor' in my mind and experience is making the presumption that one has 'survived' the incident...yet in and of itself the crime literally rapes ones very soul
Post a Comment
<< Home